Wedding Bells

In: Uncategorized

3 Aug 2009

Unconsciously a part of me chose to move the furthest away from my home to get away from the myriad of friends getting married. Is it the wedding bug or is everyone just of age to marry? The result of this gives me less girls to interact with and oftentimes just like religion, they unconsciously impose the idea that I should start the road to settling. “Have you found anyone yet? I feel so bad for you b/c you’re such a good catch.” Of course this leads to feelings of bitterness and pushes me further away from the idea. As though it’s a handicap that I have b/c I don’t have someone special in my life. I have no interest in finding a boyfriend. Just instances in the past have convinced me that it’s not worth my time and energy. Like I said, I’d rather be alone than stuck with someone who I’m unhappy with for the rest of my life…but if for some reason he cruises along, then I’ll swing it. One unfamiliar with my history may mistake me for a man-hater, don’t get me wrong, I date consistently, about 1-2 males/month.

West Coast: Most of my girl friends are now married, engaged, or on the path toward it. Their age ranges from 25-29. Then tell me this discrepancy.

East Coast: Why are 100% of my new girl friends single? Same age ranges from 25-29.

And so I am headed back toward the West Coast for two of my classmates’ wedding. My purpose is to see them again, although I do wonder in the long term just how much they’ll be willing to stay connected with me or lest make the effort that I have consistently, b/c I can start to feel the drift b/c of my move. I’ll be able to see my old friends and pick up the rest of my gear at the very least.

My 6 hour flight from NYC to SF consisted of restless sleeping, shifting back and forth between sleeping on my right arm over the right arm rest to my left arm on the gap between the chair and window. My limbs constantly fell asleep and my hair went wild from rubbing it statically against the chair and my donut pillow. I spent the rest of the time watching the free TV and listening to music, thanks to Virgin America’s technologically savvy system. I became engaged on a top about mating and its scientific implications.

  • Wobbly Bridge vs. Low Stable Bridge: The adrenaline that runs through the body is similar to that running through the body during imminent danger.  Case: Woman made men take surveys on two different bridges and then gives her number to them. 4x more men responded from the wobbly bridge.
  • Traits most sought after:
    • Kindness>Intelligence: (Moral Virtue)àgood genes
  • Romantic Love (powerful human feeling): obsession, dependence, motivated. Part of the caudate nucleus. Same way that the brain is stimulated when on cocaine. Dopamine, NE controlling fine motor coordination, emotions, focused attention, motivation. Compared to an addiction…leading them to do crazy, dangerous things, more powerful than sex drive. People kill themselves if they are rejected in love.
  • Mixed and diverse genes are more ideal
  • 95% of human beings are not monogamous.
  • Lust vs. Love: Essay written about the significant other. Desire and lust. Lust is there to find genes. Love gets rid of committing. Then long term attraction.
  • And we all know about oxytocin. The cuddling chemical.

It was always a mystery about the yellow pearl-like necklace located on the bottom part of the back of my eye, the retina. From staff doctors to students, I’ve heard them term my diagnosis as snail track degeneration, rpe dropout to oooo pretty circly things. I was determined to have a definitive diagnosis, so when my left eye was dilated during our sclera depression lab, I made my partner find it and try to figure out what they were. He thought they were lipid deposits, despite my young tender age of 25 and my skinny body. Lipid, I don’t think so. Along came another student who people coined the smartest guy in the class. He took a look and said in his Indian British accent, “definitely lattice. No doubt about it.” Lattice is defined as a very thin area in the retina, appearing much like yellow fish-boning railroad tracks that can put you at greater risk for retinal tears and detachments. I had never heard about this being in my eye and began to feel my little heart inside me beating steadily away. We had one of the head doctors come over to have a look. She agreed with the Brindian and that in fact, there was also a retinal hole with an overlying cuff of edema. That began to really freak me out.

I decided to take matters into my own hand and ran off to find the smartest staff doctor in the clinic. Despite knowing him for only 2 weeks, I trusted everything he has taught me. Just like Jedi Yoda. I looked up to him as the obokun. Despite his brilliance, he remains humbles as I state, “I will be picking at your brain all year long.” To this he replies, “You can pick what’s left of it.”

Kindly he told me to come along and tried to peer into my eye with the small aperture setting on the BIO and thought that there could have been a retinal tear or vitreal tuft in the superior portion of my eyes. He dilated my this eye and did a very thorough exam stating that I had a iris cyst at the 4 o’clock position of my right eye and that in the superior quadrant was a vitreal tuft with traction. The golden refractile spots turned out not to be drusen, exudates, cystoids, snail track, or lattice, but merely a disorganization in my vitreal interface. The same goes for the other eye, completely benign to my relief. What the former doctor had thought was a retinal hole was just a benign erosion of my anterior vitreous interface an the overlying cuff of edema was just a gap junction in the vitreal interface. What a major relief….!! Lesson to be learned: Everyone continues to learn in this field and no one can perfectly make a firm diagnosis, but some are just better at it than others.


In: Uncategorized

16 Jul 2009

Unfortunately living in New York inevitably means that you’ll be spending hoards of money on food and happy hours. It’s a catch-22. The coworkers greatly enjoy eating out and happy hours and by not participating means execution, ahem…exclusion. At the same time, that would be nearly impossible for one trying to enroll in a detox and money saving program. That would be yours truly.

Despite my minor setback on money issues, my life in new york is making its transition. Giving up the suburbia life of driving around in my corolla, drinks in my cup holders, shoes in my trunk, spare outfits in the spare seat, AC always on full blast, keeping up with the latest music on my favorite pop channels, chatting on the phone while driving… with my blue tooth. This is the new life of NY, packing minimally for the 30 minute journey on the subway and walk. Forgetting my umbrella would’ve been a minor setback in suburbia. And then in the urban life….it would be completely disastrous…or a $5 dent on ur pocket and charity to a street boy.

My program is rolling along decently…. as always, everything has its pros and cons. I’m not fond of the long 12 hour weekdays….robbing me of my beloved workout sessions. I also haven’t adjusted to supervising at this point in my life…not quite a student and not quite the dictating staff doc yet.   At the same time, I am happy that I am surrounded by a myriad of eager mentors…it’s extremely refreshing to pick the brains from the pool of knowledge. I am also impressed with the type of equipment they own at the clinic. The oct cirrus, the 3d topcon oct, the vep, the erg, the flurorescein camera, the optovue…and so much more. It’s very well rounded, my program this quarter includes the following clinics: head trauma, retina, glaucoma, cataracts, retinoblastoma, imaging, advanced technique lab, contact lenses.

And it’s midnight, past my bedtime for my 8:30am session. Peace out from the big apple bottom.

Welcome to NY!

In: Uncategorized

7 Jul 2009

The angry mosquitoes flying in from an opened patio door, the hectic overflow of people in subways, $25 for 2 bags of cherries, heavy walking from location to location, heavy rainfall in the month of July, cramped living quarters with outrageous rent. Welcome to NYC and I think it’s starting to grow on me.

Today I begin my first real 13 hour day. I’m about to visit MSK, a world renowned cancer center. I hear Dr. A enjoys quizzing the new docs so we shall see if I have my A game on. Hell, 5.5 hrs of sleep ain’t gonna stop me.

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